And now for an ancient Greek drinking song

Next time you hoist one, drop this lyrical bomb in honor of tens of thousands of dead homies from civilizations past:

"Come walk with the Laconian drinking cup along the benches of the swift shift and drain the drink from the hollow jars, pour out the red wine down to the very dregs. We will not be able to remain sober on this watch."

[a fragment of Archilochus (7th cent. BC, Paros) via my friend Sean]

Sean taught me this excellent paean to duty and booze while he was studying Classics at Columbia a good 10 or so years ago. Scrambled bits of it have been stuck in my head ever since, and thankfully this year around St. Patrick's Day he answered my email and sent back what he remembered of it.

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QotD: My Own Personal Spit-Take

What did you drink that made you do your last famous Hollywood "spit-take"? 
Submitted by LittleGreenBook

Water. Gin. Beer. Whatever. I really don't need to be drinking anything in particular. The spit-take is one of my favorite past-times. My last decent one was probably at the Spoon's going away party. I think Darrin got some collateral damage and splashback off of it, and I'm pretty sure he left thinking "heyyy, [extraface] spit on me." I can understand the misconception but no I did not, my man. The spit-take knows no victims; it's intent is purely a whalehole-like spray/stream of liquid sent on a path perpendicular to that of the conversation. Anyone who walks into the stream or cops some peripheral spray is merely along for the ride.

My habit of practicing spit-takes at parties tends to divide the world
into people who think it's extremely funny and endearing, and people
who are really annoyed by it and think I'm a jerk. In case you want to develop your skill set, a few practice drill suggestions, completely gratis:

(1)When you're at a party and someone says something surprising, look sideways and do a spit-take.
(2)When you're at a party and someone says something that's not all that surprising, look sideways and do a spit-take.
(3)If you've just done a spit take and everyone has just about recovered and the storyteller is continuing his tale, wait for another pause and do an additional spit-take.
(4)(*rule of thumb*)Basically, don't ever worry that you're wearing out the joke. More spit-takes = better.

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