"Geotard" – Someone who is hopeless with navigation, even when they have a map and/or directions. Use it in a sentence:
"I am a geotard."
I've had to drive around in a lot of unfamiliar cities lately, and I've found that my sense of direction can only come from meaningful points of reference and only when seen in the daytime. I have to figure around 3 or 4 destinations before I really know what the heck is going on. It's like I need to experience enough points on the polygon, or stars in the constellation, or something. I usually get a gestalt moment around the second day in a new place and then I'm pretty solid, but until then I'm a total mess with the driving and the navigating.
I am a geotard. I am not a lactard.